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Jay & Mindy
We are excited to start our family! We have a lot of love, adventure, and good times to share with our children as we grow as parents. We are excited that you may consider us to be worthy parents of your child, and hope that we can begin this journey together with you. Thank you for taking time to get to know us.
Adoption in Our Lives
Mindy was adopted as an infant from Korea so the idea of adoption has been part of her entire life. As a Korean child with (adopted) siblings who were part Black/African-American, adoption was always part of the family story and a very normal way to talk about how the family came to be. She also had several cousins who were adopted as well as family friends. It seemed silly to her when strangers would try to stretch their reasoning over the visual differences in family members, thinking there were similar characteristics between siblings. It was actually not until mid-adult life that Mindy realized that many biological siblings look alike. Being adopted is a very normal way of being part of a family and Mindy does not really have the experience of having biological siblings.
Jay is part of a smaller family—his parents and sister. He has had no experience with adoption other than being married to someone who was, and now having a whole lot of in-laws that are part of the family adoption story. But this idea of adoption as a way to start a family, it has been part of our plan since the day we began dating. Jay has thrown himself into the job of educating himself about adopting as well as sharing with Mindy information about adoptions outside of her personal experience. It has been a journey that we both have taken on together to create the family we hope to have.
We are both active people. We love to be outside, whether it's running, biking, playing soccer, or climbing. Many of our close friends have young children, and it's a blast to share those hobbies with them!
One of our new favorite activities is clamming. It's a family affair. Mindy's side of the family—siblings, nieces, and nephews—meets along the Oregon Coast to catch clams and cook seafood. We can't wait for our child to hang out on the beach with us and join the tradition.
When it's time to take a break, we are both content to sit down and play a game or enjoy a good book. Both Mindy and Jay's love for reading was instilled by their parents. When Jay was a young child, his mother, sister, and he would pile into the hallway pillow fort they built to read bedtime stories.
We look forward to sharing our skills and passions with a little one, but we also look forward to watching our child explore the world and find his or her own endeavors. Who knows what his or her interests will be? But we're looking forward to the journey they take us on and what they will teach us as well.
Our Individual Strengths
Mindy's strengths are that she is kind, caring, and thoughtful. She is very good at sensing other people's feelings and recognizing people's varying perspectives on important issues. She is also creative and fun. These qualities serve her well as a middle-school art teacher.
Jay is a listener. He listens carefully and thoughtfully. He is not thinking necessarily about how to respond, but rather is just listening to what you have to say and absorbing your story. It is one of the first things Mindy noticed about him and liked.
Learning is very important to both of us—both inside and outside the classroom. As an educator, however, Mindy realizes that education and learning looks different for everyone. Mindy sees how children have different educational and emotional needs. Most importantly, we hope our child will be caring, thoughtful, curious, resilient, and passionate.
Our House and Neighborhood
We live at the base of a small hill in a quiet corner of our city. There is a lot of green space nearby with biking and hiking trails that offer views of both downtown and the mountains. The nearby parks are often filled with families and kids playing soccer in the fields and on the playground equipment.
We love our home and our neighborhood, but we believe sharing it with a family will truly make it special. So many of Mindy's fond childhood memories revolve around family activities in the yard. One of her earliest memories is backyard whiffle ball with her older siblings and parents. At night, porch lights would light up the yard like a mini stadium. Other memories include early chores of picking berries, getting into berry throwing fights, having to pick more berries, and then eating berry crisp.
Both Mindy and Jay's childhoods were a balance of chores and fun. We have continued that tradition together. We both like to work on house projects, and we have prepared our home for a family. We plant a large garden each spring and we built a pergola to provide shade for the yard. We look forward to hanging a swing from the pergola for our children to play on.
We have made the inside of the house our own too. We painted the kitchen and living room with two tones of teal and decorated the walls with artwork we have picked up from local artists. Our latest house project was the most special: painting a mural of the great Pacific Northwest in the nursery for our future child.
Our Extended Families
Both of our families are very excited about our adoption plans to start a family. Mindy comes from a family where adoption was part of the majority of the family story. Her family is large with lots of aunties, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and babies (several on the way). In Jay's family, our child will be the first grandchild for his parents. They are very open to adoption and eager to meet their first grandchild.
Mindy and three of her siblings were adopted at birth up to age 8 years. She has one older brother who was not adopted, and an older sister and two younger brothers who were. All of her family lives within 40 minutes of us and we see them for family birthdays, holidays, and other adventures like clamming on the coast. Our child will have a lot of cousins their own age to grow up with. We counted over 25 family members at our last get together, and there's four more on the way!
Jay's family still resides in the Dallas, Texas area. He has a younger sister who is married and mostly lives in Texas when they are not traveling. We try and visit Texas once a year and his family typically comes to us once or twice each year for some outdoor Oregon adventure. But since we see them less, they make an effort to talk on the phone each week to catch up on family happenings and stay close.
From Us to You
We feel lucky to be in the position of starting a family and that you are considering us in this process. We are honored that you have looked at our profile to see if we will provide the family environment you envision for your child. Whatever decision you make in regards to the future for your child will be the right decision.
We have loads of love to share and the desire to have a family. Mindy asked Jay (right before agreeing to turn their friendship into a relationship) if he would consider adoption as a way to create a family. He said, "Of course." And from there we began our life together as a couple with the intention of becoming parents.
We have known each other since 2015 (married in 2019) and became immediate good friends over climbing, jokes, pizza, biking, running, and baseball. We have created a good home together, filled with laughter and love, but we are ready to add a little person to the mix to share our experiences.
Family is an important part of our lives. Mindy is fortunate to have all of her immediate family still living in the state, most within a 40-min drive from us. She grew up in a diverse family. She was adopted as a toddler, and three of her siblings – spread across 14 years - are adopted as well. Several of Mindy's nieces and nephews are also starting families now. Your child will be surrounded by lots of cousins around the same age, ready to play games and run around the family's large farm. Jay has a close-knit, smaller family that lives mostly in Texas. It allows us great travel opportunities to visit other places, especially when the weather gets dreary at home. His family is equally excited about their first grandbaby/niece or nephew.
Our commitment to this partnership of adoption is to you, the birth mother, and to your child. We are committed to creating a loving family in which our children will explore, create, and thrive as they grow up. We are committed to making sure they know who they are, where they are from, and to share culture and the world with them. And we are committed to making sure they know who you are and how your decision has created our family. Adoption is something that has been part of Mindy's story since she can remember understanding family and it will be something that we will talk about with our children. We will include you in that story and work with you (to whatever extent you feel comfortable) in an open adoption. We are committed to staying in touch with you, sharing photos, making phone calls, and making a visit so our child knows you as part of their story. We want you to get to know us and to feel like this is a decision made out of love for this child. Most of all, we want you to know that whatever choice you make will ultimately be respected by all of us.
Jay & Mindy