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Peter & Becky
Adopting our son was the best thing that ever happened to us, and because we can't naturally conceive, we are so thrilled and grateful to try this again to grow our family. We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we would adore any baby from any background because we've already experienced that love once. Please consider trusting us with this precious responsibility, it's impossible to express what it would mean to our family.
Adoption in Our Lives
Becky has known since she was 12 that it would not only be difficult, but also dangerous for her to biologically have children. So, ever since she was old enough to seriously consider the future, adoption was front and center as the most natural way to become a mother. When we first met, adoption was one of the first serious discussions that led to a lifetime relationship- Peter was just as eager as Becky was to adopt!
We believe in our bones that blood is not the only way to make a family, and we have lived through how beautiful adoption is with the birth of our first son, Theodore. It was honestly the best experience in our lives and truly humbling to witness how much love goes into making the decision to find the best parents possible for a baby, no matter who that might be. We're proud that we get to form our family this way, and celebrate how souls from any background, race, or location can come together and deeply love each other.
We are wholly open to love and parent a baby of any racial background, and truly celebrate the beauty of what makes us different and also the same. To help prepare for the possibility of adopting a baby of a different race, we have taken some trainings and did a lot of soul searching on how to be the best parents we could possibly be. As white adults, we recognize there is a still a ways to go but we commit doing the work to authentically love, nurture, and parent any child. We thought a lot about our child's identify and existing in the world we live in, and are here for difficult and real conversations.
We will take responsibility to engage with aspects of their background in everyday ways to celebrate who they are and encourage them to own their identity, whether that is surrounding them with role models they can relate to, connect them to their cultural history, and connect to their community. Most importantly, being a good parent means doing everything possible to put ourselves in the our child's shoes and meet them where they are. There would be many difficult conversations and situations that need to be faced honestly and humbly, but we will take that responsibility. We think that diversity ultimately strengthens a family by giving it depth and soul.
As a couple, we enjoy a wide variety of pastimes. Our #1 hobby is definitely food- we absolutely love cooking, baking, or sampling some fun new dish at a restaurant. A perfect Sunday usually involves Becky rummaging around in the fridge to put a pot of soup on the stove (with Theo's help "stirring" under supervision) and Peter rustling up a loaf of sourdough bread. It's very easy to see a little one joining our crew with chocolate chip cookie smears all over their little face.
We also love to travel- a favorite was Bali, Indonesia for our honeymoon and had a spectacular time scuba diving, eating local food (suckling pig and peanut sauce fried noodles were a fave, but the fresh fruit was also amazing), and meeting some monkeys up close and personal. We just took Theo to Hawaii and he was like a happy little turtle, wriggling on his belly in the sand.
We also try and incorporate fitness and the outdoors into our everyday life. Becky runs and does spin classes and Peter fences and bikes. Together, we love to hike and camp and are lucky to live in a spectacular region in the country with plenty of mountains and water and trees to keep anyone hungry to explore more. Closer to home, we also garden both flowers (lavender, daisies, lilacs, etc.) and vegetables (kale, tomatoes, herbs, squash, strawberries) which is a great kiddo activity.
Our House and Neighborhood
We recently moved to a larger home in a neighborhood full of families. All of the kiddos in this neighborhood attend the same elementary school, so lots of future friends to be made. Most days we walk 8 minutes to a private park (the site of the annual neighborhood picnic), or switch it up to stroll in the 5 miles of nature trails accessible about 500 ft. from our front door. We have farms just down the road where we can feed horses, and it's not uncommon to hear coyotes howl at night. It's easy to envision our son Theo running around in the yard with a little brother or sister, climbing a tree, making a snowman, or riding a bike in the cul-de-sac. We are also only 10 minutes outside of the nearest city with access to restaurants, parks, libraries, and museums.
Our house has lots of space- a total of 4 bedrooms, we have the new baby's room all picked out right next to his or her big brother. We also have a dedicated kid rec room with a small climbing structure, a tiny little play house, and big bean bags to jump on.
We feel very lucky to live in Washington. It's difficult to beat the scenic mountains (we love hiking, or going to a cabin for the weekend) and the water (love white water rafting, boating, crabbing, prawning) but what we appreciate the most is the diverse, progressive, and welcoming culture.
Our Extended Families
Family is core to Becky's identity from a very close relationship with her parents, sisters, brothers in law, nephews, and nieces. Favorite memories include following a dog sled race in the snows of Alaska, week long sea-kayak trips, or summers with extended family at their lake cabins. We make a point to spend at least one weekend a month at her parents' house a few hours away, whether it is for an all-day cook out or launching the boat for some fresh prawns or crab. More than obligatory relatives, they are some of our best friends.
Peter has a large, blended family since his parents divorced including his father, mother, step-mother, and a supportive pack of full, step, half-siblings, nephews, and nieces. He is especially proud of a legacy of giving back as his dad is active on a community board of health and his stepmother volunteers full time at the local food bank. Favorite traditions include faithfully viewing the NHL finals each year with his mother and a yearly trek to the zoo (no matter how old we get)!
Everyone is within a few hours distance and whole heartedly welcomed Theodore (our first adopted son) into the family. Becky's sister is also hoping to adopt soon, and so this baby would be surrounded with love, support, and other kiddos from a similar background.
From Us to You
It's overwhelming to think of you actually reading this letter and taking the time to learn about who we are. First, thank you so much for even considering us to parent your baby. We can't really imagine the entirety of what you're facing and while we have not met, it speaks volumes that you would consider such a difficult decision in an effort to put the needs of your child first. Regardless of what path unfolds, we sincerely hope you are able to find a healthy, loving, and peaceful situation for both yourself and your child. We are rooting for you.
To introduce ourselves, Peter and Becky, we met online and caught each other's eye due to shared passions for homemade bread, cookies, and costume dramas. Our relationship quickly developed and actually, talking about our openness to adoption was one of the first conversations that transitioned us from dating into seriously preparing for a future together. We moved in, got engaged in the jungle in Belize, bought a house in the suburbs of the Pacific NW, and got married 3 years after we initially met. We adopted our first son Theodore 2 years later and now are more than ready to grow our family again with another little one.
It's hard to do justice to the memory of becoming parents- hearing Peter sing Theo his first lullaby, or the first time Becky held him and kissed his head. We knew that just like that, our lives would never be the same. This is what makes us so sure now- we feel we are meant to be parents and have so much more to give. When talking about our future plans, we asked Theodore if he wanted a little brother or sister. He looked up with his little chubby cheeks and nodded, and it was as easy as that. We 3 are so ready to welcome and adore another new life.
This is the part of our future plans and dreams that we see most clearly. We see Theo feeding his little brother or sister a bottle (like he does now with his baby doll). We see them staying up too late giggling with flashlights shining in a fort. We see them sharing confidences, and squabbling, and eating dinner on a Wednesday night, and all of the million layers that form the depth of a sibling relationship, and of a family. We know first hand that this is made up of so much more than DNA.
If you feel in your bones that we are the right parents to entrust with this amazing gift, we want to establish a lasting relationship with you to your comfort level. Of course, we are happy to provide regular photographs, and updates and are open to discuss some visits as life allows. Above all else, we want an open dialogue and to come to an arrangement that feels right for everyone. We sincerely wish you every good thought and comfort as you navigate this time in your life. If you are interested to move forward, just let us know how we can be there and we will be.
With love and hope and gratitude,
Peter & Becky
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